Marriage is seen mostly as a romantic partnership: two people who love each other and want to spend their lives together. However, it is important to bear in mind that marriage is also a contract in which the parties agree on how assets will be shared.
In spite of the best intentions on the part of everyone concerned, some contracts don’t work out, and marriage is no exception. In Canada, around 40% of marriages end in divorce. And when any contract is dissolved, including marriage, the parties don’t just walk away and move on with their lives. The parties have to come to an agreement about things like the division of assets, child support and co-parenting, who will live in the marital home, and who will get custody of the family dog.
All of these items are addressed in the divorce settlement. When many people think of divorce, they picture couples sitting on opposite sides of a courtroom airing out all of their grievances in front of a judge who is ultimately responsible for ruling on the settlement. This does happen, particularly in cases where the couple cannot agree on anything, but an alternative that couples are encouraged to seek is divorce mediation.
What Is Divorce Mediation?
Divorce mediation offers couples a way to agree on the various points pertaining to their divorce without having to go through the time, expense, and stress of a court case. How it works is that a mediation professional meets with the couple and their legal representatives and helps them through the process of negotiating the points in their divorce settlement.
The points of negotiation covered depend on the nature and complexity of the couple’s circumstances, and whether or not there is a prenuptial agreement. Some of the points covered may include the following:
- The family home: Will someone continue to live there, or will it be sold and the proceeds split? Whose name is on the title deed? Was the property acquired before or during the marriage?
- Children: How will custody be divided? Who will have access to the child’s school and medical records, and who will have the power to make decisions on behalf of the child? Will both parents be allowed to pick up the child from school? Will each parent require the other parent’s permission before travelling out of the province or country with the child?
- Support payments: Will one party pay child support to the other parent, and if so, will payments end when the child is 18, or continue through their university years? If one person was a stay-at-home parent with no independent income stream, will the other person be required to pay alimony?
- Finances: Were finances held jointly or individually during the marriage, and how will these assets be divided? Will one person have to pay a settlement to the other person? Which assets, if any, are addressed in the prenuptial agreement?
- Pets: Which person will take the family pets? Will the other person have access to the pets, or will they be required to assist with expenses such as vet bills or medication?
What Are the Benefits of Divorce Mediation?
Divorce mediation is being increasingly regarded as the preferred way to settle a divorce. Many courts ask divorcing couples to first try mediation, and will only schedule a court hearing if mediation fails, or if there is evidence that mediation could be harmful to either party or to any children the couple may have.
Some of the benefits of divorce mediation are listed below.
Your Divorce Can Be Settled Faster
Court proceedings have a way of moving at a glacial pace. There are several reasons for this: schedules get backed up; the lawyers have scores of documents to share, verify, and investigate; something comes to light during the hearing that the other party needs time to respond to; the judge makes a ruling that one of the parties is not happy with, and there are attempts to appeal this ruling. Court-run divorce cases can take months to be finalised. The duration of mediation depends on each couple’s circumstances, but in most cases, everything can be wrapped up within several weeks.
Mediation is Less Expensive
The old saying that “time is money” is especially true within the legal profession. With lawyers charging for the time taken to do anything – even make a two-minute phone call – a long court case can result in the parties racking up massive legal bills. While it is true that divorce mediation involves the costs of the lawyers as well as the cost of the mediator, the total is still relatively low because the process is quick.
Everyone’s Interests Are Still Protected
Some people worry that without the ear of a judge, their legal concerns will not be properly heard. Most divorce mediation professionals require each party to have their own legal counsel. There is a good reason for this: it ensures that each party’s interests are represented. In addition, judges can overturn mediation agreements that are not accompanied by a certificate verifying that each party had independent legal counsel.
It Is More Amicable
In spite of what Hollywood productions would have us believe, divorce does not have to be a vicious fight. Most divorcing couples don’t want to drag their soon-to-be exes through the mud; they want to come to an agreement and move on with their lives. A courtroom is an inherently combative environment; one side is pitted against the other. Mediation is a collaborative environment in which everyone has a common goal.
Your Privacy Is Protected
Unless the judge issues orders to the contrary, court proceedings are public. Years after you and the person you are divorcing have parted ways, your court records are open to the scrutiny of anyone who cares to look for them. Divorce mediation offers the dual advantage of being fully binding from a legal perspective while also being private.
Getting Started with Divorce Mediation
At Separate Simply, we understand that even an amicable divorce can be stressful. At a time when you are already dealing with the emotional fallout of breaking up with someone you thought you would be with forever, the last thing you want is a drawn-out fight in front of a judge. We take pride in helping divorcing couples come to an agreement that results in everyone being able to walk away happy. Contact us today to find out more about how we can help you.