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By Ava
- In Uncategorized
Separating from a spouse means a lot more than ending a relationship. It involves an entirely new way of life for both people concerned, and there are usually a lot of logistical and financial details that have to be sorted out.
This can be done in a couple of ways. One is to go through the court system and let a judge rule on various aspects of the settlement. Another is for you and your spouse to come to an agreement yourselves, or with the help of a mediator.
What is a Settlement Agreement?
Whether the courts are involved or not, the end result is the same: a legally binding document that details how various aspects of your post-separation life will work. The content of a settlement agreement varies from one couple to the next, depending on the unique circumstances of each case.
A mediated settlement agreement has several advantages to one that is imposed by a judge: it takes less time, it costs a lot less, proceedings are not public, and the environment is inherently more collaborative.
Items that may be included in the settlement agreement include the following:
- Finances: the division of assets such as investments and bank accounts; whether there will be child support or alimony payments; the amount and conditions of any lump sum payments that are made.
- Children: how custody will work; if custody is not shared, whether the non-custodial parent will have visitation rights; who will have access to medical and school records; who will make decisions on behalf of the child.
- Living arrangements: where each person will live; whether the family home will be sold; whether both people will have to live in the same province in order for child custody arrangements to work.
5 Tips for Negotiating a Settlement Agreement with Your Spouse
As with many things in life, there are right ways and wrong ways to go about drafting a settlement agreement. Here are a few tips that are guaranteed to make the process easier.
#1 Hire a Mediator
No matter how well you and your spouse get along, some unexpected points of contention could arise during the negotiation process. A mediator will help you resolve these conflicts and arrive at a solution that is fair to both of you. The mediator should be someone both of you are comfortable with, and who has experience mediating cases similar to yours. For example, there are mediators who specialize in complicated joint finances or child custody disputes.
#2 Make Sure There is a Lawyer Representing Each Person
Even if you and your spouse come to an agreement on all points, it is important to ensure that the agreement is drafted in a way that is fair to both of you. In the event of a question or dispute at some point in the future, you or a judge may need to refer to the agreement. If it is not accompanied by certification that each of you had independent legal counsel, a judge could change some of the terms. Legal representation all around ensures that the agreement is worded correctly, that both parties are walking away with an agreement that they can be happy with, and that no one is pressured into signing something they don’t like.
#3 Pay Attention to Detail
It is important to put as much detail in the agreement as possible. Try to create an agreement that spells everything out clearly, and that is not open to various interpretations.
Here are some examples of things to consider:
- Who will get the family car, and will that person have to contribute toward a car for the other person? Who will be responsible for car insurance?
- Who will have the children on their medical insurance? Who will be allowed to sign school permission forms, pick up the kids from school, and make medical and educational decisions for them?
- Will you or your spouse require permission from the other one to travel beyond a certain distance with the children?
- If there is a family pet, who will that pet live with? Will the other spouse have access to the pet? Will pet care costs such as veterinary expenses be divided?
- How will items like furniture and artwork be divided?
#4 Think About the Future
Your settlement agreement does not only cover what is happening now, as you separate. It also takes into account what will happen in the future.
Examples of this include the following:
- If one spouse stayed at home to take care of the children while the other worked, support payments may be due to the stay-at-home spouse. Your agreement may stipulate that these payments come to an end if the recipient secures an independent income stream, such as a job or marriage to a new spouse.
- Child support payments may end when the child turns 18, or they may continue while the child is at college or university.
#5 Be Collaborative Rather than Combative
The whole point of a mediated settlement is that it allows opportunity for collaboration. When couples split up, there is often the idea that they are on opposing sides: with mediation, both people are on the same side, working toward a common goal of coming to an agreement that they can both be happy with.
Your mediator will help you resolve any conflicts that arise. If you find that arguments are starting to overtake the proceedings, your mediator may be able to seat you in separate rooms and go back and forth between you.
Reducing The Stress of Separation
At Separate Simply, we believe that separation and divorce do not have to be as stressful and traumatic as they often are. We see these life events as things that are sometimes necessary in order for both people to live happy lives, and we aim to take away as much of the stress as possible. Founded by people who have their own lived experiences with separation, we understand the challenges you are going through. Allow us to mediate your settlement agreement, so you can both walk away happy and ready for the next phase of your lives. Contact us for more information.