It is an unfortunate reality of life that not all marriages and long-term relationships work out. Although many people associate marital separations with fights over money and custody, it does not have to be this way. After all, couples split up because they feel that they can be happier apart: doing things amicably allows both people to move on to the next phase of their lives in a positive manner. This is especially important if there are children involved.
Some couples have the best intentions but are unable to come to an agreement that makes both of them happy. This could be because they each want different things and cannot meet in the middle, or because they simply don’t get along. This is where family mediation can be the answer.
What Is Family Mediation?
The goal of family mediation is to help a separating couple come to an agreement on certain issues without having to go to court. There are several benefits to this: there is less conflict, agreements can be reached in less time than it takes a judge to make a ruling, and it costs a lot less.
Perhaps most importantly, there is less chance of people walking away feeling bitter and angry. Any children the couple may have, are left with the reassurance that they are not losing either parent and that both parents will be involved in their lives in a positive, meaningful way.
Some issues that are discussed during the mediation process include division of assets, living/moving arrangements for each person, child custody arrangements, a separation plan and timeline, and child support.
The Cost Of Family Mediation
The cost of a family mediator can vary significantly from one couple to the next depending on the degree of complexity. Some factors that may affect the cost include the following:
- Whether the couple have maintained joint or separate bank accounts
- Each person’s financial and logistical ability to support themselves
- Whether there are minor children and if so, whether the parties agree on custody arrangements
- Whether either of the people are alleging any kind of wrongdoing or abuse by the other person
- The presence or absence of a prenuptial agreement
In general, more complex cases are going to require more negotiation, and therefore more time with a family mediator.
Government-Funded Family Mediation
Government-funded mediation is available free of charge to people on the day they are scheduled to appear in court. Because court costs are high and courts tend to become overwhelmed, mediation is offered in an attempt to keep as much out of the court as possible. When the parties arrive at the court venue, a government-regulated mediator meets with each person, in turn, to determine whether mediation would be an appropriate option.
Couples may also have access to government-subsidized offsite mediation. The cost of this is on a sliding scale based on income and ability to pay, and the service is provided by the same regulated mediators that provide onsite mediation on court day.
The government-funded family mediation services ensure that everyone has access to professional mediation assistance, regardless of income level. The mediators have close connections with valuable resources, such as domestic violence support workers and agencies that can help with child custody issues, property division, spousal support, and more.
Private Family Mediation
Many couples choose to use the services of a private family mediator. The benefit of this is that you have the ability to talk to several potential mediators and then choose the one you believe is the best possible fit. Every set of circumstances is unique, and some family mediators specialize in property division, child custody agreements, and other aspects of separation.
Each private family mediator sets their own fee. Some charge a flat fee for certain services where there is not a lot of contention between the parties. Most mediators charge an hourly rate, which means the cost goes up with the complexity of the separation.
Is Family Mediation Cheaper Than Going To Court?
The short answer is yes. Going to court involves lawyers, and lawyers can cost a great deal of money. Complex, highly contested cases can take well over a year to go to court, and during that time the lawyers are doing a lot of work to gather evidence and put together draft agreements. By the time your case is seen by a judge, you could have spent tens of thousands of dollars – and that doesn’t include any settlement you may have to pay your spouse.
By contrast, family mediation can help couples reach an agreement in a matter of weeks. Mediators have no interest in collecting damning evidence against either party: the goal is to empower the couple to resolve their points of disagreement in such a way that everyone walks away satisfied. Because the process takes so much less time than a court proceeding, the cost is much lower. At most, you will pay a few thousand dollars instead of tens of thousands.
Let Us Help You Separate Simply
No one gets into a long-term relationship thinking it will end. Whether you “see it coming” or not, separating from an intimate partner can be devastating. Using the services of a family mediator can take a load off your shoulders and enable you to focus on your mental health and the wellbeing of your family.
At Separate Simply, our goal is to promote discussion and cooperation over adversity and to help couples find solutions in a safe, non-confrontational way. If separation from your partner is inevitable, we can help you go through the process in a way that cuts out complicated and expensive court proceedings. Unlike a court hearing, what happens in mediation sessions is completely private, and most importantly, you and your partner can move forward without feeling adversarial toward one another. If you have children, you can come to an agreement that will turn you into a solid co-parenting team.
Contact us today for more information about our services and how we can help you.